Vinyl Heart

image

Sometimes I am
a killjoy
a walking misnomer curled
into a cobblestone weight of
nothingness slammed into
inertia against the flaked painted
wall
of flesh and bones
& heart is an honest opus
numbed in my inability to pronounce
singular voices or color
fierce enough to match this forcing
emotions

my thoughts has no
archive
& they belong to no streets
I tell you
they sought shelter from my
divided mind fractured into the
dimmed city light
& dark damp abyss during
odd hours
even when eyes eventually became
the anchor to my soul
too weightless
too lack of real juxtaposition
lost in an estate of time

I can’t write like t h i s
(you know?)
I can’t remember yesterday
last month
yesteryear
his voice shuddering down my spine 
brother’s agony
sister’s joy
mother’s sea glass heart
filled with an ocean of tears
and my inability to break
the precipice cost me muted screams
frothed beneath the surface of
wounds refusing to turn
into raised tissues
like 3 am siren making my
ear bleed when you can’t dig your
nails in it

because somehow
they are lost in the thick of
of my vinyl heart
flooring nothing but smoke
and silence within

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